keith lockey

Okay, just disowned my bro over this one. we got on talking about what we used to eat at home and touched on banana sanwiches. (Which i still luv.) Now as far as I'm concerned there is only one way to eat a 'nana sandwich. You get a slice of bread, squash banana onto it, then fold it over until the banana is oozing out the sides, then you eat it. But my bro says he puts...ugh....sugar on his...puke, vomit...but worse still margarine...aargh! What a wimp; what a culinary crime. Please tell me others don't do this.

Rock on, Malcolm, get the scarlet cloaks out, we'll take on all-comers. I'll unsheath my weapon...er better not, the magistrate said I hadn't to do that anymore. We'll give them Thermopylae if they want it.

You are going to SMIT me with your might staff!! I hope that isn't innuendo! I mean I've been propositioned before but being smit by someone's staff sounds a bit Julian Clary. Anyway, so nice to hear from you again Big G. How's your son, JC? Some say it is He who is winging his way back to us on Nibiru, Planet X, Nemesis, et al. By the way, I was doing some research on that last night - into the wee hours actually, and I suddenly realised that the last time Nibiru came around there was the great flood that I mentioned afore in that book of yours. Now that was kind of spooky, it put the wind up me. But hey ho, life will start all over again and you'll have another set of people to confuse with your religion(s). Do me a favour thgough, will you, if all the politicians and world leaders are going to survive in the underground bunkers and 'Noah's arks' then do you think you could sink a few accidently on purpose. Names will be provided on request but one is George W and rhymes with hush! PS - please don't let Damiel O'Donnel be on the list of saves. Anyway, as you say, you are everywhere and are watching me watching you watching me, etc. So now that I've got your undivided attention can I have my guitar back, the Gibson 335 copy that I was forced to sell in the seventies when I was young, good loooking and had hair. (Is that laughter in heaven I hear?) Now as far as telling us to be afraid, very afraid I should inform you right off that you are dealing with Bedlingtonians here - aka twinned with Sparta. Now the last time I heard that phrase - be afraid...it was in the Addams family - spoken by Christina Ricci as Wednesday. Which makes me wonder why one such as illustrious as yourself is plagerising Hollywood scripts. . So Big G, what are we going to do about the 21st? are we really going to cash in our fish and chips, or is it another end of the world hoax? Personaly I don't give a damn, Scarlett. But nice hearing from you, feel free to pop in for a glass of dry white anytime, I'm sure you know where I live. Give my regards to Sir Patrick Moore and tell him things won't be the same without him. Toodle pip, your bigness and remember one thing, power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely - this could apply to Heaven as well I suppose. Watch your back.

This sums everything up. This is why I got rid of my TV. Alas Youtube is no better - maybe worse!

BE WARNED PEEPS . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxy8Zu4asCM

HOLD ON HOLD ON. You mean the rest of you lot can read Big G's message!!!! I thought it was some subliminal communication that I could only read. Here's me thinking it was a direct line to the place of many mansions and it's celestial denizens. The words of the Metatron relaying their way to me and me alone. Referee! Referee! Now listen you lot, I've got first bags on this one. skinchies. Kylie and Carrie are mine; they can wing their heavenly bodies - oh and they have got heavenly bodies - down to Chez Lockey's as soon as you can say All things bright and beautiful. So S@d off the rest of you. Go and find your own burning bush or Ezekial's wheely bin. Come the 21st I'm going to unleash my wings and soar into the sky above the tsunamis and earthquakes and Christmas rush. The voice has spoken. Big G has said he will send his Seraphims to aid me - and you lot weren't mentioned - no nay never no nay no never no nay. I mean fair do's, if I'm passing Table 25 I'll pop in and see if I can alleviate your suffering, maybe put you out of your misery before the gamma rays and solar flares broil your cauliflowers. But bottom line here is that Big G contacted me first and so he must see me as a profit...er...prophet. So I'll assume my lotus position in my tabernacle and await His next words of wisdom. Om...Om...Om.

Now what exactly is YOUR WORK? Because I've read your book...you know the one that starts "In the beginning...and ends with this thingy called REVELATIONS, which I hasten to add isn't the most happiest of endings for a tome of that size. I mean at least in the Mills and Boon books the nurse marries the neuro-surgeon and they live happily ever after in a crofters cottage in the highlands with a westie called Angus and a ginger cat called Puss. Then there was that little bit about a flood. Not really the good guy kind of scenario, is it? I mean wiping the planet clean with a deluge is a tad drastic, don't you think. Why didn't you just come down and slap everybody's wrists? But I suppose you had your reasons and it's none of my mere mortal business to question the motifs as one as omnipotent as yourself. But apart from that will your angels that you're sending down amongst us be bringing me a Gibson 335 semi acoustic - cherry red - with scratch board and tremelo. Like the one I was forced to sell in the seventies cos I was skint. Hold on, that's Santa Claus, not you. Ho ho ho. But if you do send some angels down to me can they look like these two.

Exactly, 6th Dimension, turn left at cloud cuckoo land and left of planet Utopia. Maybe there is a parallel universe where Bedlington has shops and leisure centres and facilities other than pubs. We were just on about the films they used to show at the Market Place Club on a Wednesday night!!! That was a highlight of the week.

TABLE 25 OCCUPANTS. I have a cunning plan...

That's what they probably said to the Wright brothers and people who said we would walk on the moon one day. Personally I think a majority of the sightings can be rationally explained; many are just mis-identification. (Is there such a word?) A lot of them are just rubbish. Someone once emailed me a photograph of a 'ufo' - it was obvious to everyone it was a bird but he couldn't see it! But I don't have a telly and I need some spice in my life - like UFOs, conspiracy theories, cryptology, big foot, sea monsters and Kylie Minogue. It would be a dull life if we didn't have mystery. Now where's my Star Trek original series DVDs; I'm baldly...boldly going where no Malcolm Robinson has gone before. All together now - Dee dee dee dee dee dee dee.

Just been down the station - the tree lights outside Sleekburn House are on now.

The Mexicans have them all the time.....senor moments. (tee hee)

I'm never off the UFO sites, most are rubbish but every now and again you get a good un'. I saw one the other day about 'rods'. It turned out to be moths and camera abberations. Into chem' trails at mo.

FOUR SNIPPETS FROM FAMOUS ALBUM COVERS NAME THE ARTIST & ALBUM

Carol's the hairdresser is moving up near BuzzyBees and I believe the Bling shop is too. But I don't know about the computer shop. But those bottom shops are all coming down. I think I better take some photos before the dozers arrive. It's quite sad, cos that's another part of my past getting turned into rubble. First the Terrier and now the shops where I used to buy comics, etc. I think some higher being is trying to erase my memories.

Why don't they approach Dragon's Den?

That's right, Keith. Alan Miller and my bro were real good mates, him and Stu Maddison. But I still cannot picture the Co-op shop at Ian Bell's. I remember most of the shops, like Doyles at the top of the woods at Stead Lane and the one in between the Coffin Chapel and the Whitley school - which has been posted elsewhere on this site. But the Blyth Store Bank shop is a complete blank. PS - news is they are going to knock down the bottom shops at the Oval.

Thanks for correcting me, Tonyg. My bro said it was Pioneer and he convinced me.

Cheers anyway, Foxy, I honestly can't remember the co-op at Ian Bells and I can't remember that electrical goods shop either.. But I remember there was a shoe repair shop behind the Clayton and roughly where the Gables surgery is now; it had something to do with the Pioneer Boot factory - but that was at the top of Bolam Place! I recall a bloke coming round in a van and collecting our boots or shoes and taking them away for repair - then he would bring them back. I popped into that little shop once and it was reeking of evo-stick - and that was before glue-sniffing started.

I remember Barnsies and across that little gap was an embroidary shop or something. I also remember my old school mate Paul Maddison took it over and opened a photography shop there. But I can't for the life of me remember the Co-op.

Calling Foxy, come in Foxy, your help is needed. I got a lift home today and I told the driver he could take a short cut down Blyth Store Bank. Now that is the long road leading down Tosson Close from Ian Bell's motorbike shop. And of course my mate asks the 64 thousand dollar question - Why is it called Blyth Store Bank. That stumped me, but my bro says there used to be a Blyth Co-op shop where ian Bell's is now. Have you any photos Foxy or can anyone else throw some light on this. Cheers.

Planet X must be asserting its influence on my Hyundai 1200 watt halogen heater - the power button 'pinged' and now it wont work. Either that or there really are electric demons in the ether.

Excellent Malcolm, well spotted. I have got the complete first season of The Outer Limits. It is amazing how many 'stars' made their debuts on the show.